1. |
Quit Quittin'
02:43
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When I quit drinking everything’ll be fine
Get up in the morning, have coffee ‘stead of wine
Remember where I went, won’t regret what I say,
And I’ll get to keep my liver til Judgment Day
When I quit smoking, everything’ll be sweet
My clothes won’t stink, I can taste what I eat
I’ll quit wheezin’, and hacking up a lung
I’ll hit the high notes, proud of what I sung
I’ll quit that, I’ll quit this
Quit so many things, gotta make me a list
Need my buzz, need my fix
I’ll quit quittin’, see if that sticks
When I quit jerkin’, everything’ll be swell
Have a whole lotta tissues and I won’t go to hell
Save my hard drive, I won’t go blind
I might need glasses, but you gotta do your time
When I quit dopin’, everything’ll be great
Have a whole lotta stress and a whole lotta hate
I’ll drive angry and cut people off
I’ll think a little quicker, but at least I won’t cough
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2. |
Sun Goes Down
03:26
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Another day gone - another dry day
That’s all it is, just one more day
Like yesterday was just a day
Just gotta take it day by day
If you can get through today, it’ll be just another day.
The sun’ll come up, and the sun’ll go down
At least, that’s all I can see from this town
Sun goes up, sun goes down
I know there’s more, the world goes round
Sometimes we’re all upside down
I’m just keeping it simple, that’s what I’ve found
The sun goes up, sun goes down
Take it in stride, take it in jest
Do what you can, hope for the best
Take what you need, and leave the rest.
Take a deep breath, everything’s a mess
Just take it in stride, take it in jest
You’re just another fruit fly in another fruit bowl
Just another snake looking for another hole
Just another stoner looking for another bowl
Just another barber looking for another pole
Just another body looking for another soul
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3. |
Grampa
03:06
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They said he was gonna go years ago when I was 25.
And I remember thinking way back then,
‘I can’t believe he’s still alive.’
They gave him 1 year to live in ‘81, but he didn’t leave no will.
He quit the butts, he quit the booze,
And he quit his job up on the hill.
Just because I saw it coming doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.
Grandpa’s still gone away.
He steered the ship out of the bay.
And he couldn’t hear a thing - never lived like a king.
But he’s still gone away.
Didn’t say much, but when he did, you knew you’d better hear.
And you bet your ass, he used a belt
To make his point come crystal clear.
He got sick and mellowed out by the time I came around
Passed his days with model trains and slew of cats
He got from the pound.
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4. |
Crooked Deck
03:46
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All I got’s a pack of smokes, a can of Coors and a head full of jokes
A lot they’re both doing for me now
I don’t feel like being on........Can’t smoke...marathon
It’s 9 am and I’m at work somehow
I use the same rhyme all the time.........Smokes and jokes - a dozen lines -
They say all I ever sing about is booze
So I go back and double check.......They’re all right, but what’d you expect
From an Irish sonofabitch who left big shoes
I came into this world - ain’t no chance in hell
I’m my father’s son - as far as I can tell -
It’s a crooked deck, a bogus die. Best we can do is try
You can pray if you think there’s ears
But worse comes to worse: there’s Marlboros and beers
Can’t cast blame on anyone. - My father was his father’s son.
And so on adfinitum down the line.
We all do the best we can - With what we learned from our old man
And hope things keep getting better every time.
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5. |
So Does The Beer
03:43
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My old man died yesterday.
There’s not much more I can say.
They pulled the plug - he didn’t last long.
Morning came and he was gone.
We should all go so easy.
Flew down south, yesterday.
Scribbled down some things to say.
Keep it nice and keep it light.
Fight the tears with all your might.
This will all soon be over.
And I still can’t believe he’s gone.
We all wish he were here.
The conversation always gets a bit dark now, and
So does the beer
Down south again, yesterday
Scattered him in Tampa Bay
The lady from the funeral home
Said stand upwind when you throw ‘im
You don’t want a mouth full.
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6. |
Stream of Consciousness
03:43
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Pencil, pen, hen, Zen, Richard Gere, head gear,
Heads Up! Up-see-daisy, daisy chain, chain gang,
Gangs of New York, “New York, New York,” Frank Sinatra, Rat Pack
Pack rat, Rat pack, pack of smokes, smoke stack,
Robert Stack, “Stack-o-lee,” Mississippi John Hurt,
Finger-picker, nose-picker, boogar, sugar, Sugar Ray...
Ray Charles, Charles DeGaul, California baseball,
Billy Joel, “Piano Man,” pan, Dan, fan, Stan,
Stanley Zbornac, “Golden Girls,” “Empty Nest,” nest egg,
egg toss, tossed salad, tuna salad, potato salad,
picnic, bears, Chicago Bears, Mike Ditka, Chris Farley
Harley, gnarly, 80’s, ladies, punk rock, rock of ages,
30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, Beatles, Stones Jagger, dagger,
Knife, wife, ball ‘n chain, Dick Cheney, schlong, wang,
Big bang, universe, universal remote control....
Troll, bridge, Midge, fridge, freezer, frozen, ice cubes,
Cube steak, steak fries, Super size, Micky Dees,
Mickey Rooney, Rooney Fest, mudslides, water slides,
Dorney Park, park ranger, Range Rover, Grover Cleveland,
Cincinnati Reds, Whites, Blues Clues, animation, Nick at Nite, Ducktails....oooooooh....
Lobster tails, Red Lobster, seafood, Thai food,
Ty Cobb, corn on the cob, husk, musk, Old Spice,
Spice Girls, Girl Gone Wild, “Wild Side,” Lou Reed,
Clarinet, Netflix, internet, “Innerspace,”
Martin Short, John Candy, “Uncle Buck,” buck naked, “Naked Gun,” “Airplane,” Clarence Unger, younger, older.
Control freak, freak of nature, Guinness, pint, pint-sized,
Danny Devito, Batman, Gotham City, city limits,
Austin, Texas, George Bush, assholes, poop, scoop,
Ice cream, Sunday, church, pray, on your knees,
Elton John, “Tiny Dancer,” Tony Danza, “Who’s The Boss?”
Boss Tweed, Boss Hog, a log, a dog, a frog, a jog,
Bill Murray, Murray Hill, down the hill, Jack and Jill,
Jack Daniels, Jack Johnson, John and Johnson, band-aids,
Plastic, Visa, Mastercard, masturbate, KY,
“Why? Because we....” Mickey Mouse, Mighty Mouse, mouse trap,
Rat trap, trap door, Doris Roberts, Robert Redford,
Reds, blues, twos, threes, fours, fives, tens, twenties....
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7. |
I'll Tell You One Thing
03:09
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I can take a life lesson by looking at what you did
And what you didn’t do, that helps, too.
What you had at the starting line, and how you ran the race
And how you flirted with the skeleton crew
I’ll tell you one thing, might go in and out the other
There’s no way in hell I’m gonna go that way
Goodbye to Joe, goodbye to the bar
‘Cause now, look at you, you’re in a toenail jar.
Take a look down at the fruits of your labor
Maybe you’re looking up, I’m not sure
But there’s three boys that sure coulda used ya
Maybe something more than the joke d’jour
You’re settin’ there ‘stead of sippin’ black coffee
Holding up “Catcher in the Rye” real good
And I’m setting here with a tear in my eye,
As I drink a little more than I know I should.
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8. |
Breakfast of Champions
03:32
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Breakfast of champions - the drink of fools
Mix my wine with my whiskey - I break all the rules
Call it pathetic - I call it my life
If you think you can live with me, just ask my third wife
Nobody tells me that it’s not okay
Unless you start in the morning, you can’t drink all day
I’m green as a toothpick - black as a dime
I’m Irish as my wish to drink ‘til I’m thin as a lime
Breakfast of champions - Four eggs and beer
If I keep mixing my drinks like my metaphors -
I’ll be dead in a year
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9. |
Running Out of Time
03:50
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Feels like I’m running out of time
Can’t shake the feeling that this life of mine
Is all on borrowed time
Feels like I’m running out of time
Everywhere I look I’m finding easy rhyme
So I march in time
My fingers are numb
I’d like to stay in bed ‘til one
I still haven’t seen my day
Sure hope it’s yet to come.
Feels like I’m running out of time
I’d shoot the moon, but I’ve had too much wine
All this forsaken time.
Feels like I’m running out of time
I’ll make my move when you appear, divine
On the dotted line
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10. |
I Cracked at the Airport
03:24
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I cracked at the airport - I made a little scene
Told some dumb-ass cowboy where he could go.
Then I got a little fired up - no fists thrown.
But an airport employee was humiliated...Poor Ted.
Not my finest hour.
That’s all I’ll say...about that day.
One more thing I forgot to mention.
Scotch and the airport - poor combination.
I got a little fired up - Coward’s courage.
Shoulda got beat up - I guess I looked too sad....sad, sad...
Not my finest hour.
That’s all I’ll say...about that day.
By the way - an addendum, please.
This never woulda happened if I’da just let it go.
We all crack at the airport -I just made things worse.
Gotta choose my battles - Maybe take a look inside, I sighed
Not my finest hour.
That’s all I’ll say
I swear that’s all I’ll say
That’s all I’ll say...about that day.
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11. |
It Makes Me Smile
04:27
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I keep on living every day
I brush my teeth, comb my hair.
Happens once or twice a week - I stop and think, you’re not there.
And it makes me sad.
You’re just a bunch of memories
Hotel pools and junky cars.
Ash trays and ugly shoes
Stupid jokes you took too far.
And they make me smile.
So I close my eyes and try to see your face.
Every month it seems I lose a trace.
Maybe I never knew what sadness was before.
I keep on living every day -
Drink my coffee, put on shoes
Maybe come a year or two
I’ll think of you, and it won’t bruise
It’ll make me smile.
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